11 Responses

  1. Fuzzyman

    I was going to give this quiz to my wife, but I decided that I prefer to go on living instead…

    Reply
  2. Elisha etc

    Lol, Fuzzyman. You old skinflint!

    My husband would REALLY hear it if he pulled number 4, and I totally got that answer “wrong”. I’d have said answer A!

    Reply
  3. Fuzzyman

    And as for #7… Yeah, right, I want to invite my old girlfriend over, like that won’t raise any alarm bells. While I’m at it, why don’t I suggest a threesome? Geez.

    Reply
  4. JBL

    Funnier than I expected, and in a “laugh with it, not at it” sort of way, no less.

    But…WHAT is being suggested in #9, choice A? Hope it was a big switch for her sake.

    Reply
  5. Brian Gonigal

    #11: Your husband comes home at 3AM with a prostitute in tow, bellows at you to get him a Goddammed scotch, then proceeds to lead her directly to your bedroom. So of course you…

    A. Get all hysterical & emotional and start bawling that he doesn’t love you anymore and how could he betray you like this and in general refuse to get beyond your own petty little feelings as usual.

    B. Suddenly turn into a screeching harpy and embarrass your husband in front of his guest by refusing to let her into your house or near your children, then have the gall to insinuate that it’s somehow *his* fault that you’re so incapable of satisfying him that he’s forced to seek comfort elsewhere.

    C. Make sure to have his favorite drink all ready & waiting for him when he walks in, graciously ask his companion if there’s anything you can get her, then while they’re in the bedroom go to your purse and get the money out to pay her with when they’re done (making sure to include a generous tip, of course).

    Why do I get the feeling this was written by a guy whose been through at least three nasty divorces where the judge was compelled by the facts to come down heavily in favor of the wife each time? I particularly like how the “right” answer to #5 pretty much boils down to somehow being able to magically pull a gourmet meal out of your ass at a moment’s notice. And I’m sorry, but the correct answer to #9 is to divorce that weirdo, as he’s either a businessman whose idea of entertaining radio fare is flat out bizarre, or he’s a farmer who likes to lounge around the house in a business suit.

    Reply
  6. bellydancerakn

    The proper answer to number 4 is to tell him to make his own fracking dinner next time, or to move back in with his mother. And that he’s sleeping in the guest bedroom tonight.
    And if number 5 happened to me, well the customer would have to deal with hash for dinner then. Or a casserole. Whichever is better. If DH expects a 5 star meal with only a hour notice, well, he’s got another thing coming.

    Reply
  7. Julia

    wife: but honey, what’s a “con-tract”?
    hubby: something people sign when they’re in agreement but later on one of them always gets screwed.
    wife: I wouldn’t have signed one of those when we got married would I?

    Reply
  8. Vonnie

    The answer to #6, “Kill a what, dear?” is the husband after what he said in #4.

    Reply

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